Hey watch that thing!

The 4th of July. What a great holiday. BBQ-ing, beer-ing, fireworks-ing, and soccer-ing. So we had a bbq get-together yesterday, watching movies (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and Syriana, both good flicks) and kicking the soccer ball around. To set up the stories, know that Wayne loves soccer, plays every week, and played soccer in "high school" back in China. I believed him - of course who wouldn't? However I quickly discovered that he was full of shit, as not once during the 15 or 20 minutes of our "afternoon session" could he kick the ball directly to me. Needless to say, I got a good workout after I had already taken a shower for the day (luckily no sand in the vagina however).
Episode 2 begins at 930 pm, just when it's dark enough to do some damage with fireworks. Earlier in the day, we had convinced Wayne to buy some fireworks, although he was very reluctant to do so, claiming that they were "too dangerous" and that his "parents never let him play with fireworks as a kid". Although these statements are not hard to believe because Wayne sometimes is scared of things in life, one must also consider that he's Chinese! AND THE CHINESE INVENTED FIREWORKS! Needless to say, he bought 2 "cool" fireworks and a bunch of sparklers. Him and a 5-year-old were debating colors in the fireworks tent side-by-side. It was a pretty gay scene. Flash forward to the night. Wayne, being the nice guy he is, gives each of us a sparkler to light with him. We oblige, but then spend the next 5 minutes chasing him with the sparklers. He really is afraid of fireworks! Apparently he learned a lesson, because later in the night he again lit a sparkler, this time not handing any extras out. However, while he was whirling it around, he caught his neck with the end and slightly burned himself! That'll teach him to be afraid of fireworks, and not to buy gay-ass sparklers.