The Friday Tradition

As has become the Friday norm around the lab at 5051 Malott, lunch happens at the King Buffet, our favorite, cheap Chinese buffet. After helping ourselves to a smorgasboard of MSG (ok I don't know if they really use that stuff or not, but dang is it good!), the obviously Asian waiter/waitress places the bill on the table along with fortune cookies. Inside most of these cookies are the all-too usual "You will be prosperous in life if you want to be" fortunes and lucky numbers. I have found that rarely are these numbers lucky, but cost me a dollar in Powerball in the long run. On the reverse side of the slip of paper is our favorite section, "Learn Chinese", or as we like to say, "Wayne really isn't from China as he doesn't even know his own language". In this game, we (the Americans), pronounce the chinese words and then Wayne must guess their English meaning. Only once in his career has he topped the 50% mark. Each turn generally ends with a "Ah baseball bat, yeah that is baseball bat" from Wayne after we correct his mistake. This game never gets old.
Recently, at the King, we discovered one of those quarter-for-a-piece-of-junk-plastic-thing-in-a-plastic-ball dispensing machines that, for a quarter, would give you "Golden Bling". Wayne now has 3 golden dollar signs hanging from his rearview mirror (and yes, riding in a car with him driving is as scary as it sounds. I seriously think we could charge thrillseekers to ride with him and make a lotta money, cause it's dangerous. How he got his license is probably the same way that your great-grandmother got hers), and recently got a small ring.
Me-Wow Wayne, that ring is pretty small. I bet it would make a nice toering.
Wayne-No I won't do that.
M-Come on, it'll be funny. Ok, then how about a cock ring. I bet you could use it as a cock ring.
W-Come on man, that isn't funny. You can use it as a cock ring!
M-Um no, it's wayyyy too small buddy.
W-Yeah see, it's too small to fit around an erect penis.
M-Dude it ain't ever fitting around my dick. I bet you can use it though.
W-Ahh, probably no.