The Spletstoser Special

Taken from a very recent conversation.

Wayne: Man you'll never believe it. My rotovap* is working really well and not even bumping.
Me: Wow, that's pretty good. Are you gonna go jerk off now cause you're so happy?
W: Well I will later.
M: You're one sick fuck, talking about jerking off all the time.
W: Well I will lower it later.
M: What, lower it? Lower the flask into the water? No, that's not what I asked. I asked if you were going to jerk off since you're so happy about this.
W: What does jerking off have to do with it?
M: Well, you're happy, so maybe you wanted to. I was just asking a question.
W: I will later.
M: Ok this is just getting out of hand. You obviously don't know what I was saying.
W: No, I diiid. I can jerk off in 3 months if I want to from remembering this.
M: Only you would jerk off thinking about how efficiently your rotovap is working. Sicko!

*For any non-chemists that read this blog, of which I am currently unaware of, a rotovap is a super cool device we use to remove solvent from our product. You know when you cook meat in the oven too long, and it dries out. Well, the dried meat is our desired product, and the oven is working as the rotovap is. That's a bad example, but sufficient.


On a quasi-related sidenote, although it's never funny (mostly it's just gross) to walk in on someone beating off, wouldn't it kind of be funny to walk in on Wayne?

Also, lately he seems very much more open to talking about jerking off. This is in stark contrast to when I first met this man-child. Back then, he would get extremely angry if you asked him about it and just vehemetly deny it the whole time. Now though, he just rolls with the punches when you tease him and laughs in a very odd, creepy manner. Luckily he doesn't go into details about what kind of "pron" he watches. I have a feeling that he never jerked off in China and just started to in America. He's probably in that "15 year old" stage, jerking off every waking minute anyone's not around.