He's a butt guy

It's happened to everyone, or so we thought....
Man 1-Hey Wayne, don't you hate it when you don't wipe so well, so your ass is itchy all day?
Wayne-What are you talking about?
1-You know, you take a shit, don't wipe as well as you should have, and regret it the rest of the day.
W-No, that never happens to me.
1-Oh, you're a good buttwiper? You're so gay!
W-I'm not gay! You're gay!
1-Ok then, at least admit that you masterbate.
W-I don't do that. That's gross.
1-So you've never whacked off, ever?
W-No!
1-Wayne, you're so gay. You like touching hineys!
W-I'M NOT GAY!
1-Ok fine, you're not gay. But you're still a liar.
W-I'm not lying about the butt thing.